Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some frequently asked questions about Light Touch Retreats.

Q. Just how "intimate" (i.e. sexual) do things get?
A. One of our main intentions is to make the distinction between intimacy and sexuality more clear. It is a source of confusion for many men, gay, straight, and everywhere along that continuum. First, we promote intimacy with ourselves through conscious breathing, stretching/moving, meditation, and journaling: all of which are ways to turn within and get to know ourselves better. Then we offer opportunities to speak from the heart, revealing our more vulnerable selves. And finally we offer guided touch rituals, which are primarily nurturing in quality. Some of these also focus on feeling the connection between the erotic and the sacred, between the genitals/heart/spirit. However, our intention is never "sexual" in the sense of stimulation toward ejaculation. Participants consistently report this to be a profoundly healing experience: caring touch from other men that honours all of who we are. Please refer to the "Handy Guide" on the Welcome page for more details about the level of intimacy in various events.

Q. Aren't your events really just for gay guys?
A. No, not "just." As originally conceived by Sequoia and Doug Fraser in 1987, these retreats were specifically offered for gay men, largely in response to the AIDS crisis, to provide a context for exploring quality intimacy with a spiritual intent. In the 90s, we perceived an evolution among men of diverse sexual persuasions toward a more open exploration of our relationships with ourselves and each other. Since then, we have advertised the retreats as "for Loving Men." "Loving" is both an adjective describing the quality of men who choose to come, and a verb describing what we are doing: exploring together how to love one another, regardless of sexual orientation. While the majority of participants are gay/bi/queer, we also have had quite a few men who are/were married to women, and are fathers, as well as some who describe themselves as "beyond labels," "straight but not narrow," and "questioning." Our common interest is wishing to be physically, emotionally and verbally open, honest, and as intimate as each man feels comfortable exploring.

Do you know of any questions and answers that you think should be listed here? If so, please contact us at menintouch @ growinghealthier.com