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| A Participant's Comments from New Year's '98 |
| Comments from Augusto |
| Comments from Chester |
| Comments from Jeff |
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A
Participant’s Comments
|
Thank you so much for facilitating the Phoenix Retreat. Your warmth, your kindness and your loving attention created an environment that allowed me to have a truly powerful growth experience and for this I am truly grateful. The retreat ended up being exactly what I needed and as you'llnotice from below, it was as though every exercise and every ritual had been designed with my very own personal needs in mind . . . |
What about the retreat did you enjoy the most? Why? |
The retreat made for many new enjoyable experiences but what was most enjoyable for me was the guided dance/touch rituals (e.g. the Seaweed & Ocean Dance, the Sufi Dance, etc.). These rituals were incredibly charged with loving energy and the connection established between the partners through the touch ritual allowed the loving energy to flow readily between the partners. These touch rituals literally "blew me away" with their loving intensity. There are also lot of other things that I really enjoyed about the retreat. These include: —We were asked to repeat our intent on 3 separate occasions during the retreat. This not only ensured that we remained focused on our intent but also ensure that our intent was "out there". |
—The nature and progression of each exercise either dealing with verbal or physical intimacy was perfect for me. It was as though every exercise was exactly what I needed at that particular time and in that particular space. |
—The location of the Phoenix retreat (in proximity to ancient sacred lands) played a significant role in creating a spiritual experience for me at the retreat. The exposure to the Hokhokam Tribe (the Two-Spirited People), their beliefs and culture, opened my eyes to an ancient wisdom and truly enhanced my personal connection to the land and to the energy of the People who had once lived there. This "spiritual" grounding felt extremely safe to me. |
| —-The Sweat Lodge was a once in a lifetime experience. The Lodge in itself created a powerful physical and emotional intimacy and the brotherhood experienced there (in the face of adversity for some) was very powerful for me. Personally, it was only many days after the sweat lodge that I was able to make some sense of the revelations that were revealed to me during this truly unique experience. |
What about the retreat did you find most informative and/or growthful? |
Informative: |
—Starting to learn yoga was wonderful for me. I want to follow this up. I found that yoga made my body feel very good. It made me like my body, and my self, much more. Breathing continues to be a challenge for me and I want to pursue this. |
—Learning about the Chakras |
Growthful: |
—The intimacy exercises appeared to have been designed to suit my very own personal needs. Exercises focusing on expressing your feelings and your needs, setting boundaries, handling rejection, handling acceptance were exactly what I needed to work on. |
—The body massage exercises were very revealing to me. In spite of my lack of experience or learned technique in massage, I became very confident when I focused on honouring my partner and transferring loving energy through my hands to my partner (and especially to my partner’s chakra points). This played an important part in my engaging my loving energy. |
—The genuine affection and nurturing touches engaged throughout the retreat emphasized to me the importance of engaging my loving energy. |
—The various retreat experiences allowed me to recognize that one can give while still maintaining integrity about your own needs and feelings |
What was the main thing you learned? |
About myself: |
—During the retreat I grew to like myself more and more (body and soul). One of the revelations that came to me during the Sweat Lodge was that every decision that I have made in my past has not only been the best decision that I could make at the time but was also truly the best decision that could be made. And why? Simply because, each of my actions has contributed in creating the wonderful person that I am today. The positive feelings that I was feeling toward myself during the retreat allowed me to reach and integrate this important conclusion into my life (previously, this had been a problem for me). |
—I have been carrying around a "special place of sadness" in my heart for a few years. During the retreat, I came to realize that this "special place of sadness" constitutes loving energies that have not been allowed to flow naturally (i.e. that have been repressed). Rather than fearing this place (as I had been), I came to see it for what it was and honour this deep well of love within me. |
About Life in general: |
—The retreat allowed me to engage my loving energies which had been suppressed for the past few years. By doing so, I came to understand that you can accomplish great things when you 'engage' love into the process. |
How is your life different since the retreat? |
—I am more aware of the ongoing importance of engaging the loving energies within me. |
—I like myself a whole lot more. |
—A different way of thinking (which I haven't sorted out yet) is starting to take hold. |
—I am willing to embrace my future and look forward to it. |
—I am free from my past. |
—I MISS A BIG DAILY DOSE OF TENDER, AFFECTIONATE AND NURTURING TOUCH!!! |
How would you like the retreat to be different? |
The retreat was perfect for me! . . . |
In closing, I wish to thank you immensely for creating an experience that has allowed me to grow as a person and most importantly, re-engage my flow of loving energy which had been blocked off. You cannot begin to imagine what this means to me. Many, many thanks. |
Comments from Augusto
It was excellent to receive your
.
I devoured it from cover to cover the minute I got it. I am also on the mailing
list of a local group for gay Asian, specifically Filipino, people and their friends
and family. Receiving the literature gives me a sense of feeling connected to
community. What I especially appreciated about receiving your newsletter was this
feeling of community despite the geographic distance. I almost cried when I was
reading the men's comments about touching each other, about lack of opportunities
for doing so, or rather, lacking the support for touching each other in caring
and real ways. The work that you do is so very important and could help save us
all from killing each other. Here's a quote a friend of mine told me that I'd
like to share/paraphrase... "When the love of power becomes the power of
love mankind will have a new name." - Augusto.
Comments from Chester
Your "editorial" very much speaks my mind both about the present situation and the search to help men see and be more gentle, tender and loving with each other and the world we all share... Starting in the Vietnam period when I worked with many others trying to convince as many people as possible to resist and put their energies to ending the murderous madness, I have wanted to help men be more gentle and loving with themselves, each other, and the living earth and all its beings, animate and inanimate... Many reevaluations and assessments since, the vision is still there and gets revived and reenergized by events, meeting folks who share it... or rereading or recalling things written by Walt Whitman, Thoreau, or Edward Carpenter. The cultural and individual roots of much of this lie deep and are quickly transmitted to each new generation, as in the male cultural use of denigrating terms about sexual anatomy and pleasure as curses and epithets: "dumb prick!", "stupid cocksucker," "jerk-off" -- the very sources of some of the fine sensual pleasures of our lives. So a reevaluation and revisioning of our relationship to our sexual selves seems a needed part of this work. - Chester
Comments from Jeff
For the past five years I have been leading support groups for an organization called the Human Awareness Institute (HAI). HAI presents workshops for men *and women* on the subjects of touch, intimacy, love, sex and relationship, and much of what's written in your newsletter is very consistent with HAI's philosophy. (You can check out their web pages at www.hai.org.)
Since you asked about suggestions about your mission statement, I'd like to offer you some feedback.
Anyway, that's just my two cents. Thanks for listening. And again, thank you for bringing this very important work to the planet. Yours in brotherhood, Jeff, a heterosexual but "bi-affectional" (thanks for that term) man.
Dear Jeff,
Thank you for providing such food for thought. Upon reflection, I agree that homophobia and fear of intimacy are distinct, though often interrelated wounds. I hope all of us men -- gay, straight, and all the vast midground between -- will come to understand that distinction, so as to open to more caring intimacy with men with whom we may not wish to be sexual. The Mission Statement has been revised to reflect your insights. We welcome other readers' ideas as well. - STL
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